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Live Alone? Unexpected Death 


I had good friend who always called me on Monday night.  On Monday October 15 I was out. It was unusual for him to not leave me a message. butI got home too late to call him.  He always went to bed at 9pm or at least got in the shower then.  

So, on Tues at 9am I called him and left a message asking him to call me.  When he had not called me back by 1pm, I called his apartment complex and asked them to check on him.  They said they would as soon as there was a person free and one left to stay in the office.

When I still didn’t have a call back by 4pm, I got in my car to drive the 45 minutes across town to his apartment.  While driving, the apartment folks called and said they were unable to get an answer either at his door, or they climbed over his porch railing and pounded on his sliding doors.  I asked if his car was there and when they said “yes” I knew something was wrong.

They told me at that point they had to call the police.  I knew where the spare key was, so I spoke to the police and they got into the apartment and found he’d died just getting out of the shower.

It took me over an hour to get to his house, I wasn’t thinking and wanted to call the relative who was to be his executor.  The only other relative whose phone number I had hung up on me when I asked for his executor’s phone number.  That relative also chose to call his ex-wif to get the executor’s phone number.  His ex-wife is the LAST person he would have wanted them to call.

The policeman couldn’t find his prescriptions (I assume because he wanted to call his Dr).  I finally asked if he had looked in the medicine cabinet — he hadn’t.  Perhaps because the body was in the bathroom and he didn’t want to go in there.

After I recovered a bit, I realized I knew where his address book was and I was able to call his executor.  

Police called the executor who knew what funeral home was to be called.   Shortly after that the police told me I should go home as sometimes it took hours to get the undertaker to arrive.

When I texted the executor to offer a ride from the airport, etc. etc. — this was Weds, we found him Tues — she said she wouldn’t be arriving until the next Monday Oct 22.  

When she arrived, I didn’t want to bother her right away but on Tues the 23rd she let me know hat the service & reception would be Thurs the 24th.  

I asked about a few things that I wanted… his other relatives had already arrived and gotten rid of a lo of his things.  I never did get the address book back to be able to call the long distance folks I knew he kept in touch with.  

I was able to notify the local folks many of whom came to the funeral.  ALL of them were grateful; that SOMEONE notified them.

As I age, friends disappear — no one notifies me and I never know if they died, moved to a retirement or nursing home or moved in with relatives.

Please have someone check on you every day if you live alone, and if a relative dies, please notify everyone in their address book, email, etc. also please have a good friend or the apartment manager or a neighbor know who your executor is and what their phone number is.